Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
