people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
