I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
