i just wanna soil my oats bro
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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