just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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