i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
