well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize