I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
