so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
