DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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