i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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