brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Barsexuality is the new black.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
