My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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