ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
