just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
