I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
