I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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