he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
