he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
