so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
