As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
