You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
