Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
