its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
