are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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