dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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