I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize