with your own penis?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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