my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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