Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
