would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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