I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
