i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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