sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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