jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
