im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
