I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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