we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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