I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
