I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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