I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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