census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
