In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
