forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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