you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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