You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
