IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Less talking, more tequila
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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