its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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