It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
