Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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