please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
