if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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