Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
