"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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