see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
