it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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